I hold your handMy fingers are rootsYour palm is earthI wriggle deep inside youI grow, flourish, and bud because of you I will eventually wilt and dieYou’ll eternally be the one who made me bigger, better, thicker, and stronger
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So fucking done … almost
I feel like I’m done with life, even though it’s not yet done with me. No, I’m not talking about ending things early. I’m talking about the will to live. These are two very different things. Sometimes I love life, especially when I’m getting high. Right now, I’m not getting high. I’m not really living…
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Mary Jane’s Last Dance
I sit here, under motivated, after another night of over consuming high THC cannabis. I was alone, so I didn’t enjoy the high. The amount that I had made me worried about my mortality and the mortality of those around me. Marijuana makes me way more emotional, even when I’m not on it. I become…
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Dear Sister
I write this mostly for myself, as a diary entry, even though I am writing it to you. It is the therapy I need to get past the hurt you’ve brought into my life. You’ll always be my sister, and we will always be family. If we are ever going to have a friendship again,…
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WTF – Part 30 of Through the Gates
“I must have wrote down what happened. I must have created a record. They can erase our memories, but they can’t erase anything we’ve left behind. If I recorded what we were intending, how we felt in the moment, it would be on paper, or on the internet or something. We should be able to…
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Sex Tape – Part 29 of Through the Gates
Sariel and I sit on the bed together. She stares down at the ground, down at my feet and begins talking. “There are consequences for breaking the rules Sam. Sometimes we forget what we did to break them. Sometimes we forget a day, a week, a month, or a year. Gad for a decade, a…
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Night Mom Night Dad – Part 28 of Through the Gates
Sariel brings the blankets and pillow to Joey, who is already almost asleep. Joey is laying on the couch, and he opens one of his eyes half way when I touch his shoulder. “Joey buddy, Sariel brought you a pillow and a couple of blankets.” “Thanks guys. Thanks so much Sariel. I don’t know who…
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I remember you – Part 27 of Through the Gates
Joey started to yawn, a fairly aggressive and loud yawn. “Joey, buddy, let me grab you some pillows and a blanket. You can crash on the couch.” I point to the bed in the jail cell and back at the couch. “Would you like the couch?” I ask. “Ah, yeah man. The couch is great….
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Strange Coincidence – Part 26 of Through the Gates
Sariel looks down, away from my eyes, and very slowly lets out some words: “Sam … you … ah … you weren’t put in a grave. I mean, I wasn’t here, but I think you forgot yourself. We can talk about that later.” Sariel’s hand is still in mine, and her eyes slowly come up…
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Family – Part 25 of Through the Gates
“Sam. This cabin belonged to your dad. You found out about it when he died. That was fairly recent,” Sariel says. “Well, why is there a jail cell?” “Your dad was always a bad person. He was shitty to you, abused you as a child and eventually left your mom for another woman. He was…
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