I call Joseph to see if he’s willing to sit down and chat with me.


“Hello, is this Joseph McIntosh?”

“It’s me, Joey Mac and what’s your name?”

“I’m not sure, actually,” I say.

“Ya don’t know your own damn name?”

“No, actually. Someone…”

He interrupts me with: “is this some kind of a prank?”

“No. It’s no prank..”

Again, this motherfucker interrupts. What kind of proper adult can’t shut the fuck up for 5 seconds to let another fucking human being get a god damn word in?

Clearly not this guy when he says: “I’ve been warned about guys like you. Are you calling from India? Are you trying to scam me saying I didn’t pay my taxes?”

Well, this guy might have the attention span of a three-year-old who got into aunties vodka jello that she left in the fridge after a late night of debauchery, but he saved my fucking life, so I’m going to make a best effort here and speak as fast as I possibly can.

“I got a head injury somehow, was almost buried alive, stumbled up a hill, passed out on the side of a highway where my wallet and phone went missing then you came along and saved my life. I now have amnesia”

“I saved your life?” he asks

“Yeah, you called 911. I might have been dead if it weren’t for you.”

“I just called a number. I didn’t save any lives. I’m not the damn ambulance am I?

“So, here’s the thing. I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind sitting down with me for a moment, maybe grab a coffee or something?” I ask

“Well, I am in the city right now.”

“Can I meet you? I’m about three blocks away from the General hospital, just outside some office building.”

“I’ll drive to you. Text me the address, my granddaughter showed me how to use the APPs, so I’m really good at that now.”

“Thanks so much Joey. I really appreciate it. While I figure out who I am, people are calling me Tulsa.”

“That’s a very respectable name. I’ll see you soon Tulsa.”

Joey hangs up the phone without saying goodbye. He’s done a lot for me, so I’m going to do my best to ignore his lack of phone etiquette.

Son of Sappho Through the Gates , ,

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