May 11

No #TV – but for real this time…

I sit quietly in an empty waiting room, waiting for my daughter to finish her therapy session, not wanting to leave and go shopping, just in case I’m needed, just in case she needs to leave.

I was recently asked how my life changed after my teenaged niece died. I ponder that even more, in this vacant space. I want to truly live my best life now. I don’t want to waste a single moment.

The rules are a bit different than the last time I tried. I can’t watch TV alone, and I can’t suggest to anyone that we watch TV together. If someone wants to watch TV with me, that’s OK.

I don’t have to be productive in the time that I take back from the gods of television, but during a lot of that time I naturally will be.

TV is about the only thing at home that makes me want to sit still. Although I enjoy reading well enough, I’m the kind of person who needs movement, so I would rather listen to an audio book or podcast while doing something physical, even if it’s going for a walk or doing some chores around the house.

TV takes me out of my natural self. It makes me sit still and be someone I’m not. I forget that I need to move. When I’m reading a book, that doesn’t happen. I’ll get anxious waiting for a chapter to end so I can go and do something.

I imagine this first half of my life and how it might have been different if I didn’t give 20 to 40 hours a week away to watching someone else’s story. I could have created more of my story. I could be more me.

I plan on writing a daily follow up piece to let the world know how the last half of my life goes with all this extra free time.

Today, I’m a muscular, not cut in anyway, 201 pounds, nearly 6 feet and two inches. Out of 10, 10 being the best, here is how I would describe myself.

Memory: 5

Physical fitness: 7

Focus: 4

Happiness: 5

Fulfilled: 3

Usually, my memory, physical fitness, and focus will improve without television, while my happiness will decrease. The happiness is a big one for me. It’s what drives me to wake up in the morning, and it’s why I self medicate with the TV pill. I’ll have to find new ways to stay happy.

What do you do to stay happy?


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Posted May 11, 2019 by Son of Sappho in category "Diary

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