Squawk Loudly Like a Chicken – Chapter 25
I arrive at the bank to see Frank, Ben, and Stain, all standing around in a high school sort of circle. They haven’t noticed me yet, so I walk up behind Ben, give her the two handed kidney grab and squawk loudly like a chicken. Ben jumps, almost out of her skin then turns around and starts punching me in the chest with the back of her fists. The punches turn into slaps and the slaps turn into a rough rubbing action.
Stain looks over at us. “Guys, enough foreplay. I think I know what happened here.”
Ben backs up, and Frank comes over to hug me. She gives me a big squeeze then slowly backs up, looks down and says: “oh my, I see he likes it when Ben plays rough.”
Ben shoots a smile at me, and I smile back.
Stain points at the window, as though his finger is a gun and says: “Sappho, Ben, Frank, come stand next to me.”
We all gather around Stain who makes shooting noises with his mouth.
Ben gives Stain a queer look and says: “this seems like bullshit to me.”
I have to agree when I say: “more like hippo diarrhea.”
Frank lets out a little laugh, but she gently touches Stain’s shoulder and says: “he is definitely on to something. Let’s give him a chance.”
Stain looks at me and says: “look we were inside the bank. We assumed the cops shot in because their guns were the closest thing to us.”
I answer back. “Right. Plus, no guns went off in the bank, and we know based on how the glass broke that the bullets had to come from outside the bank.”
Stain places his thumb and index finger on each hand together then pulls them apart slowly while he says: “right. What if we assume that the cops didn’t do it?”
I shake my head. “Look, we could shift the paradigm here, but why would we assume that the most obvious guys and the only other guys with guns weren’t the guys that shot in?”
Frank looks all excited for a moment. “Wait, wait. Everyone shut up.”
Ben looks over at Frank. “What?”
Frank says: “shhh. Shut up.”
There is a long moment of silence where I look at Ben, and she just shrugs her shoulders. Stain eagerly awaits the moment.
Frank speaks up again. “If the cops didn’t do it, we know the shooter couldn’t have been in the bank. We know the shooter couldn’t have been directly behind or beside the cops because he would have to be 10 feet tall to get the bullet over all their heads. If the shooter wasn’t a cop, he would have to be up in that apartment building across the street.”
I look at Frank. “That’s a weird scenario. Why does a shooter take out an innocent woman in a bank during a robbery when there are tons of cops outside?”
Frank looks at me. “Let’s explore every angle then we can ask why later.”
“Fair enough,” I say.
Frank asks: “how many shots were fired?”
Stain answers: “there were two shots. The first one went into Lily’s head. I had just taken both rifles from the robbers, and Lily and I were in an embrace.”
Stains eyes begin to tear up, and Frank grabs the back of his head, pulls it firmly towards her very large chest and rests it down between her cleavage. She strokes his hair in a very motherly sort of way then asks: “so, Stain was holding both the weapons when Lily was shot?”
I see what she is getting at. “Yes, they were spinning around in a circle, so the shooter could have easily been going for Stain.”
“What about the second shot?” Ben asks.
“The second shot went into the wall, almost right behind our heads,” I answer.
“So the only way to be sure is to find out if the bullet was traveling mostly straight or slightly down,” said Stain.
“The police haven’t released any of that info yet,” I respond.
Frank looks at me. “But it is possible that the shooter wasn’t a police officer.”
I nod my head. “It’s not only possible; it’s likely. Stain and I didn’t belong in the bank. We created a diversion to get in. Then Stain ends up holding both weapons. If one of the cops shot in at Stain, he could have just said that he did. Stain and Lily would have looked like the bank robbers at that moment. It would have been a clean shot. Instead they said the shots came from inside the bank, which isn’t even close to being believable. They must have thought it to be true.”
Stain is still enjoying the pillow effect of Frank’s chest, while she giggles and says: “I think we’ve solved it.”
Stain asks me: “how was your date with Emily?”
“There was an awkward moment where I was going to have sex with a cab driver cause I thought Emily stood me up, but instead I offered Emily a threesome after she broke into my house.”
Ben looks at me with a disgusted look on her face. “You had a threesome today?”
“No. They both left,” I say.
Frank smiles a bit and says: “well you could have a threesome today.”
Ben rolls her eyes.
“Frank, I would love that, but I think I’m going to give up sex for a little while.”
Frank shakes her head no. “Oh no, you should never give up sex. Very bad things will happen if you do that. Sex is good for you.”
I shake my head no back at her. “I haven’t had much luck lately. Every time I try, I get interrupted. I haven’t reached the finish line the last several times I’ve tried.”
Ben starts poking my chest. “If Frank wants the three of us to fuck, then the three of us are going to fuck. Don’t act like you don’t want it.”
I smile at Ben and Frank. “Believe me, I want it. I just want to do it in a private place with someone I have feelings for.”
Ben gets angry, lifts up her shirt and bra and starts yelling: “some one? We helped you solve your bank robbery shooting. Now, you owe us. I don’t care if you have to fall in love with the two of us, but you’re going to shoot your cum all over us whether you like it or not.”
Ben grabs me below the belt and says: “that’s mine now” then walks away.
Frank gives Stain one last hug and says: “it was nice seeing you gentlemen again. This was fun. Sappho, I hope you can fall in love with us. I think I could fall in love with you.”
Frank kisses me on the cheek then on the lips. We kiss again, and it feels right, as though we’ve been lovers for a long time. I hold her hips while we kiss again and again. She holds the top of her shirt open so I can look down, smiles at me and says: “I’ll see you soon.”
Frank runs off while saying: “thanks for the adventure boys.”