Happiness is just an emotion

Sometimes people will watch a really sad movie because they want to cry. I’m not generalizing. I know that watching a sad movie doesn’t make you the kind of person who wants to cry. Schindler’s list was pretty fucking sad or any movie ever where some poor asshole dies of cancer. There is a value…

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Day 3 Without TV

I’ve gone through 2 days without television. Overall, my happiness level has improved, although I’m a bit more irritable, and I find myself wanting to be more productive, which is difficult when you have children of any age, as they are constantly pressing you to do simple tasks for them. I truly love them though….

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No #TV – but for real this time…

I sit quietly in an empty waiting room, waiting for my daughter to finish her therapy session, not wanting to leave and go shopping, just in case I’m needed, just in case she needs to leave. I was recently asked how my life changed after my teenaged niece died. I ponder that even more, in…

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The inspiration of death

On a lovely summer night, three days after I moved into my beautiful new house, back in July of 2018, the most wonderful soul left this earth. After that, I drank more alcohol, smoked more weed (it’s cool – totally legal here), watched more TV, and ate more junk food. My niece overdosed on Aleve,…

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No TV – Attempt #3?

I’m on day 4 of no television. I think this is the third time in my life that I’ve seriously attempted it. The Rules No Netflix; No YouTube, unless it is for instructions or work; That’s pretty much it. Exceptions I can watch Netflix if I’m with people who have for whatever reason chosen to…

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Suicide Fucking Sucks!!!

My youngest daughter is suicidal. I’m managing it well, and I think she’ll be all right, but this is easily the worst time in my entire life, likely hers too. It makes me wonder about how I spend my time though. Is there any value in watching TV or porn or whatever other bullshit ways…

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My Only Niece

My only niece, who was wonderful, kind, caring, good to her family, and loved horses, took her own life recently. It’s the only death I’ve experienced that has impacted my life in a very negative way. Other people I cared about have died, but they were older, and I was prepared for it. Suicide isn’t…

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Juggling Expired Yogurt

Yesterday, I had this magically funny moment where I was with my daughter, and I was juggling three small containers of expired yogurt. One of the containers had slightly opened a bit. My daughter was nervous that the expired yogurt would open or splash everywhere if I dropped it, but we shared a moment that…

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Profound Fucking Sadness

What man needs to cry? Maybe all men need to cry. I’m going through couching right now, a type of couching that looks inward. It can be a bit like therapy at times. Other times, it can look like business coaching. My coach tore open an old wound. The years of stress and unexplained anxiety…

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Half Way There

I’ve made it to the half way point of life, and yeah, I might have a couple of things to show for it, but I’m not what everyone would call successful. I’m alive, happy, healthy, and running my own business. I haven’t been writing though. That needs to change. Forget the distractions of social media…

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